The first thing you look for when your daughter’s boyfriend calls and says he wants to spend the rest of his life with your daughter, is the peace from the Lord. You know then it is of His hand, and to Him, that He will take care of them, that He will be that third strand in the unbreakable cord. What God joins together… Lord, keep, bring their union into oneness in You. Even a mother-in-law’s heart cannot fear over it, when her heart is turned to Jesus. That was my request of my son-in-law, “Will you give my daughter Jesus?”
But we do concern ourselves, (a little)… O Lord! Have mercy on their lives, build them, love them, let them see You. Keep them in Your love, Your peace…. that their union will somehow glorify You. Let them see that the pain in marriage is ordained to cause them to seek You, to find You, to grow into You, and to become one with each other…friends… a smaller picture of the bigger one of Christ and His church… the two becoming One, to the glory of our Father God. That their joy will be made full..
Then you pray more. You somehow want her husband to know how good she always was, how sweet and beautiful, how precious. Please do not hurt her… yet he will, and so will she hurt him. It is then that love begins. And, we pray more.
Yet there is a second thing that we look for, and when we see it in our children, we cannot deny. There is that certain look. Something we have never seen at another time in her life. She loves him.
Although I see her in little ruffles and bows, a shiny pink blanket with her doll Marcia Wanda, here is this amazing woman, successful, experienced, mature enough. She loves the Lord. She loves this man. O, Lord Jesus. This man loves her, too. You could see it in every part of his expression. He is all about her. Aware of her. He is a man who can love. When he looks at her, he does not see pink ruffles, but he does see his wife. I saw a very similar look in my son’s being, as he was about to propose to his wife….he loves her.
My husband and I fell sideways into each other again, support for each other. The universe shifts each time our children’s lives grow. Sometimes it is sadness, a leaving – other times, it is gladness, a joining… we have learned to lean into each other and into our Lord, it took time. It took pain. It took failure. It took Jesus. It took Love. It takes Grace. It brings Joy.